A spectre is haunting Gotham City – the spectre of some rich capitalist in a bat costume kicking the crap out of the underprivileged masses that are just trying to get by in this lousy economy. So if there is one group in Gotham that desperately needs to unionize, it’s henchmen and henchwomen.
I mean, talk about precarious working conditions. The schedules are terrible, the uniforms degrading, you frequently get punched in the face by Batman (or, even more humiliating, by Robin, while Batman goes after the main baddie), and there is absolutely no job security…
Batman: The Brave and the Bold (v2) #10
You may argue that it’s a globalized problem, not just Gotham City’s. People never think how things affect the family of a henchman. And unlike other self-professed heroes, at least Batman is not in the business of killing hoodlums!
Still, there can’t be that many jobs worse than working for the Joker. For one thing, the sense of humor of the Clown Prince of Crime is lame enough to make The Office’s David Brent cringe… And while Batman does have a no-kill policy, one of comics’ longest running gags is the fact that the Joker keeps murdering his own employees willy-nilly:
Detective Comics #475
Sure, there is at least one success story of a comrade who managed to break away with her life and a book contract. After years of helping the Joker carry out his madcap plans, Harley Quinn earned her own fanbase. She even has a solo series:
Harley Quinn (v2) #0
Tony Finch, another former Joker henchman, also tried to make it on his own some years ago, with less impressive results. A natural born loser, when Finch found a dial that gave him superpowers (don’t ask), he recruited a couple of thugs and made a short-lived attempt to start an independent criminal enterprise, with its own ethos:
H-E-R-O #10
I’m afraid people still don’t know you exist, Tony. Blame the system: Gotham is a tough city for the small entrepreneur, which may explain why so many goons gravitate towards the big rogues.
In fairness, the False Face Society of Gotham does have a reputation for paying well. Moreover, as mobs go it is a relatively successful one, having managed to establish a monopoly of Gotham’s organized crime plenty of times. That said, it’s not as if its leader, Roman Sionis, is not an eccentric egomaniac as well, what with wearing a mask carved out from his father’s coffin, insisting that all his gang members disguise their faces, and even disfiguring his poor lover just so that she too must wear one of his damn masks… He makes Tony Soprano look like a well-adjusted gangster!
Speaking of dysfunctional mobsters, there is also the Penguin’s gang. Say what you will, but as bosses go, at least the Penguin is concerned with the education level of his staff…
The Batman Adventures #1
…which is not to say that you actually want to show off your knowledge in front of him:
The Batman Adventures #1
Lacking class consciousness, some henchpeople are actually quite devoted to their exploitative employers. A notable example of this kind of Lumpenproletariat is Frederick Rhino, who for years remained Scarface’s loyal henchman despite all the abuse he took from what was literally a delusional puppet. Another well-known case are Query and Echo:
Detective Comics Annual #8
This wild pair left a promising career in an underground dominatrix club to embrace a life of crime and adrenalin, and soon found themselves hired full-time by the Riddler. Their coolest story is probably Detective Comics #705-707, which starts when they seemingly try to spring their boss from a courthouse with great panache:
Detective Comics #705
(Another high point for Query and Echo is their independent gig with Slyfox, in the rollicking Nightwing #1000000.)
If you’re looking for an amusing take on the plight of the henchman, however, what you’ll definitely want to check out is ‘Help Wanted.’ This fun issue of the second volume of Batman: The Brave and the Bold follows the trials and tribulations of a professional henchman called Joe, who works for respected, so-called job creators like the Toyman, Clock King, and Ocean Master. Yet Joe’s long-term employment prospects are consistently cut short as Batman arrives on the scene to kick ass and take names, so he keeps moving from city to city, much to the chagrin of his wife and kid.
Batman: The Brave and the Bold (v2) #10
The twist ending may not be exactly world revolution and classless utopia, but it’s poignant in its own way.
At the end of the day, to quote a classic treaty on the subject, the henchman remains the human analogue of the suffering multitudes who like good dogs sit and lick for their reward. Even on the few occasions when Gotham henchworkers join forces, it’s not to chant The Internationale, but to follow the footsteps of their employers:
