The thing about Gotham City is that it doesn’t just have organized crime, it has hyper-organized crime.
It’s like there’s a whole parallel system operating within the city. To be sure, the gangland bosses keep changing, and each one is more unbalanced than the last, whether it’s the Squid, Dr. Fang, or Black Mask. But there is a whole structure in place that seems to function regardless of who’s calling the shots. So if you’re looking for a gig, you can use the crime exchange…
Detective Comics 452
…or just get a copy of the Joker’s newspaper:
Detective Comics #193
In your downtime, if you just wish to have a drink with your peeps, there may even be a place specifically for you. For example, hired killers can go to Noonan’s bar, in the Cauldron (Gotham’s lower-class Irish district). Noonan’s is where all the professional assassins hang out, although they also welcome disgraced alcoholic superheroes and honest-to-God demons…
Hitman #21
While not exactly Cheers, Noonan’s is the kind of bar where everybody knows your name… and if they don’t, then you’ve wandered into the wrong place and probably won’t come out alive!
There are plenty of neat comics starring hitmen, from Grant Morrison’s sadly unfinished The Checkmate Man (about a time-travelling assassin who kills Karl Marx on the very first page) to Pat Mills’ cult-worthy Accident Man (who shares a premise with the movie Accident), but Garth Ennis’ and John McCrea’s Hitman really takes the prize. One of the best aspects of the series is precisely the authors’ ability to carve out an atmosphere of relaxed comradeship between adventures, as hitman Tommy Monaghan and his buddies sip their beers at Noonan’s while bitching about the changes to Superman’s costume (‘I mean what next, are we gonna change the flag?’)… and I’m sure every night finishes with Dropkick Murphys on the jukebox!
These character moments are as much fun as the main story, especially once the former King of Hell gets hired as a member of staff:
Hitman #29
Of course Noonan’s is just one of several clubs and bars across Gotham with a criminally-minded clientele. From the sleazy McSurley’s to the fancy Iceberg Lounge (run by the Penguin), anyone who could belong to a Scorsese movie will find a spot, whether they look like the cast of Mean Streets, Goodfellas, Casino, or even The Wolf of Wall Street.
In fact, I doubt there is one honest bar in the whole city…
Batman #369
Speaking of recreation, if the shit hits the fan and you suddenly need to go into hiding, you can still have some fun under the beatnik cafes of Gotham Village:
Detective Comics #327
Or you can skip town with the help of a specialized travel agency:
Detective Comics #327
To be fair, working conditions aren’t always the best, especially for henchmen. But at least unemployment is low. Also, you can easily get professional help regarding clothes, property, and health care.
And you don’t have to worry about your kids’ education, since you can actually send them to crime school:
Batman #409
As if all this wasn’t enough, a while ago Killer Moth tried to provide extra insurance in the form of a hilariously inept protection racket. The idea was that, whenever criminals found themselves in trouble, they could switch on a moth-lantern, project a moth-signal into the sky, and Killer Moth would come to their rescue… you guessed it, in his mothmobile!
How organized is Gotham’s underground? Years ago the city even hosted the first International Crime Olympics! Literally:
Batman #272
By the way, the whole Underworld Olympics saga (Batman#272-275) is awesome. Not only do we get to watch the European team squabble over the British player’s lack of concern for the European Common Thieves Market, we also see Batman use his knowledge of cool Humphrey Bogart films to nail the team from the Afro-Asian Bloc!
Ultimately, between the job support and the spirit of community, Gotham is just a great place to be a criminal… Well, except of course for the fact that the city is crawling with crime-fighting heroes:
Batman: The Brave and the Bold #17
NEXT: Will Eisner Week.