If you want to be a villain in Gotham City – an unwise but surprisingly frequent career move – there are some people you just have to know.
Once you’ve figured out your villainous name and shtick, you’ll want to find the best tailor in town to fix you up with a cool costume. No, not him. Jake, the biggest specialist in the field, actually has two drawbacks: 1) he can be quite expensive, and 2) he also works for the good guys, so there is the risk of bumping into one of his other clients….
Gotham Knights #52
That said, the Tailor doesn’t take sides, just takes cash, so at least you don’t have to worry about him ratting you out because he doesn’t like what you’re planning.
The next step is getting a base of operations that reflects your criminal persona. Gotham City is full of creepy and decrepit real estate, but it may not be easy to find and acquire the perfect place. This is where Sherman Fine, aka The Broker, comes in:
Gotham City Sirens #1
The thing about Mr. Fine is that he is less reliable than Jake the Tailor as far as loyalty goes… It does not mean that he cannot hold his own – after all, dealing with the likes of the Joker and Victor Zsasz makes this *literally* a cutthroat business!
Streets Of Gotham #4
After getting settled in your new place, you’ll want to make sure you install some good old-fashioned deathtraps, for when the Dark Knight inevitably shows up. Chances are, they won’t kill Batman, or even slow him down that much… but hey, it’s a tradition (not to mention a musical number).
Batman Adventures (v2) #9
The person you want to see for this is Jenna ‘Carpenter’ Duffy. A former pickpocket and con artist, she joined the Mad Hatter’s Wonderland Gang together with Moe ‘Walrus’ Blum (as per Lewis Carrol’s poem, ‘The Walrus and the Carpenter’) and later went freelance as a craftswoman specialized in villains’ headquarters and secret lairs.
Streets of Gotham #12
Like the Broker, the Carpenter was created by Paul Dini, who populated his comics (and TV scripts) with all sorts of charismatic side characters. In fact, Dini imbued these two with so much personality that it’s a shame they never got their own series… I would love to read about them figuring out the logistics for one of those bizarrely decorated hideouts that Two-Face uses!
Anyway, once everything else is finally set up, there is only one more crucial contact you should have on your speed dial. When things go bad – and Gotham being Gotham, they will go bad – make sure you know the number of the Crime Doctor:
Detective Comics #494
First created in 1943, the Crime Doctor was a fascinating character, particularly in his second incarnation, when he was revived in the ’80s as Bradford Thorne. He wasn’t motivated by greed (he donated his earnings anonymously to health care facilities in order to help provide medical services to the city’s poor), but by an addiction to crime. Thorne’s Achilles heel was his Hippocratic oath, as he kept undermining his own plans because of his refusal to let people die… What’s more, the Crime Doctor found out Batman’s secret identity by recognizing a bandage he had put on Bruce Wayne, but – even with the Dark Knight after him – Thorne refused to reveal the secret to the underworld because this would be a breach of doctor-patient confidentiality!
The Crime Doctor has been reimagined a few times over the years, but it’s still odd that such a zany medicine-based villain hasn’t gotten more exposure. Thorne also seems like a natural candidate for a spinoff. I can just see a Grey’s Anatomy-type hospital drama set in the Crimson Crime Clinic, with increasing sexual tension between Doctor McCrimey and the lovely Nurse Rench:
